crazymama

I am the youngest patient in the waiting room by probably 30 years. I guess that is what you get when you live in a town with one of the largest Active Adult communities in Northern California and the Dr. you are seeing has an office right across the street. I was a little suspicious about this being the case when the appointment scheduler reminded me to bring ALL my prescriptions in with me, in their original bottles for the Dr. to see.

He was very thorough when he took my history. Surprisingly, tears welled up in my eyes when we got to the whole Post Partum Depression stuff. His eyes widened a bit when I mentioned the OCD and Anxiety part…I guess obsessive thoughts about death aren’t as appetizing as a pretty, melancholy mother a la Sylvia Plath (without the sticking your head in the oven and turning it on part).

He asked if I had experienced the OCD and anxiety prior to having PPD. I wanted to reassure him that I was, in fact, not completely bonkers and at the same time was a little irritated that he even asked. He asked if I was feeling better and I awkwardly described that things have indeed been better, although the thoughts of death have come back slightly since I found that pesky lump in my left breast.

Its been there for about three months. Just chillin’ in old Lefty. Not getting bigger, but not going away. I figured I would give Lumpy time to go away before I completely went bat shit crazy and freaked the fuck out. He didn’t, and I haven’t yet. (Don’t ask me why Lumpy is a he and not a she)

So, in answer to your question, Dr., yes I have gotten better. Because finding a lump in my breast 9 months ago would’ve been heroin-binge, staying awake for three days, robbing a liquor store, and jumping off a bridge worthy. Right now its just a gallon of ice cream and a pitcher of margaritas worthy.

That is progress, I think.

To be continued until after my Mammogram June 9th.